Healing Crisis (simplified as HC) is human body’s reaction occurred during and after doing PaidaLajin (slapping and stretching, or simplified as PL) and that is why it’s also called Healing Reaction. It is the key to understand PL Self-Healing. In fact, it is the way or path to self-healing but it is also a myth.
PaidaLajin (PL) self-healing for me is about conditioning the body. So our mind does not stand in the way of developing healing consciousness and Healing Crisis (HC) is the awareness of (PL) self-healing with its ability to detox, heal and prevent diseases. Healing Crisis (HC) becomes visible through exercising (PL) self-healing. Is this a weird statement to you? My first understanding of (HC), I encountered by read Hongchi Xiao’s book PaidaLajin Self-Healing. I thought I understood it then but not really. So allow me to reconnect you with my personal experience and present understanding of (HC).
Even though I find myself in prison and am limited in area and am confined in a cell for 19 hours a day and am restricted to 3-5 hours outside time in our gaol yard. I still practice (PL) self-healing and we have no luxury of having a Lajin bench or something as simple as a hand slapper. The feeling of knowing no limitation can stop me by only using my hands and the gaol table outside in the prison yard is gratifying enough. The confined space of my cell and the gaol yard are my personal workshop areas for practicing (PL) self-healing.
It has been more than 14 months that I have been exercising (PL) self-healing with my bare essentials, my hands. My initial awareness of (HC) was for me more than a crisis; its experience presented more of a phenomenon something unknown and invisible. Its healing consciousness was as if, my body was searching and experiencing feelings after doing (PL) slapping and stretching. After reading Hongchi’s book on self-healing, it gave me a clearer understanding of (HC) an insight to why I was experiencing symptoms of pain, swelling, severe itchiness and the visible evidence of “Sha”. It gave me a personal understanding of (HC) and its powerful effect on my physical and emotional transformation.
These feeling and sensation became something I wanted to share with Hongchi on a daily basis for my personal insight and understanding. So every day I ask Hongchi why I am experiencing such a heavy deep release of physical, emotional pressure. Our sharing became a feeling of gratitude and a personal understanding of this phenomenon which is (HC).
There is nothing normal about prison, it is a cruel and desperate place but to have something such as (PL) self-healing and to be able to exercise and heal yourself is a relief and joy. The transformation that it creates in my physical well-being is a miracle in itself. I can see and feel the transformation and become deeply conscious that I have to go through something known and unknown – this is (HC). This occurring transformation not only gave me strength that I had not experienced for a long time, but surprisingly also gave me confidence and joy.
Healing Crisis (HC) uncovered in me a lot of hidden sickness and created feelings and sensations which are hard to describe and name.
Like the first time I slapped my waist area, both front and back, the pain, swelling and “sha” that appeared was so strange. It looked just like “crocodile skin”. Very dark, lumpy rough “sha” which is very swollen and throbbing sensation. Over more than one week, I would watch the changes, the “sha” changed colour three times from a deep purple to dark red than a mixture of blue, red and yellow. I would say to Hongchi my thoughts as if some crocodile ghost or demon is trying to escape out of my body prison, how ironical, hahaha. My slapping and stretching has created a lot of different (HC) symptoms, these are some of the symptoms I experienced:-
- Pain and numbness
- Sha
- Bleeding
- Itchiness
- Swelling
- Sweating
- Vomiting
- Fatigue
- Smelly Body Odour
- Bloody Nasal Mucus
- Deep throbbing sensation
These are the initial and first symptoms that appear that made me realize that I have disease and sickness. These are the visible signs of (HC). This is how my body responded to (PL) self-healing which I believe gives me the experience and understanding our diseases and sickness are deep rooted. These signs are the physical evidence. The experience (HC) is the different feelings and sensations. My analogy of this is something like a feeling of “Hidden ghosts inside”.
Prison has given me the opportunity to reconnect with myself, by practicing (PL) self-healing with Hongchi most days. It has become a daily ritual and a part of prison life.
My awareness tells me (HC) is the only mechanism, that activates the receptors of the brain and the body reveals the true effects of self-diagnosis. I do not know the body’s wisdom of how it heals and balances itself but I know I am experiencing a feeling of recovery and witnessing a holistic transformation because I no longer use the medications that I have been using for several years prior to my imprisonment and starting my journey with (PL) self-healing.
I have come to realize after all these years of using medications that it only relieves pain and suffering and did not really heal the root cause of any of my diseases and sickness but only maintain their cause by suppressing the deep roots of my diseases as hidden ghosts in my body.
Slapping always reveal visible (HC) known as “Sha”. This is deep rooted; manifested disease I find in me that appears in different forms, shapes and textures. For me, it is a natural sign that my body is self-diagnosing, detoxing, healing and preventing many different unknown diseases.
Pain, sha, swelling and itchiness are always present, with every session of slapping no matter what part of my body. My understanding is the longer the duration and intensity of my slapping, the more (HC) initiates healing and activates the prevention of whatever the unknown disease and this prevention is imminent. Why? Because when one of the (HC) symptoms no longer appears, this means that (HC) has reached its peak. Which means the symptoms are declining and diminishing with healing effect at the same time?
For me, this is how (HC) gives me the sign that I am improving in my health and having more energy and greater endurance of pain. My slapping has become a lot stronger and more intense and I can stretch past 90 degrees in my Lajin stretching.
My awareness has becomes that (PL) self-healing generates and transforms energy. It is this feeling of different sensations that vibrate through me when I slap and give me a feeling unknown, as if the sickness is being shakened and chased out of my body. This vibration that is created by (PL) is the heart of (HC). This shows why (HC) is the “way” of recovery and the key to understand (PL) self-healing.
Healing Crisis (HC) reveals different hidden diseases and illnesses that are known and many unknown that linger in our bodies as past afflictions.
Healing Crisis (HC) is the “BULLSHIT DETECTOR” of my suffering and this affliction (PL) is something so simple and this is why the world cannot easily fathom its healing effect. That’s why it can only be understood by those who have experienced its healing effects. Sadly even the world media has portrayed (PL) self-healing in an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments and definitions. The media’s portrayal in my view is ignorant and bias, it is lacking in research, experience and understanding but I know the truth will prevail. This is not only the will of myself and Hongchi, but also the will of all the PaidaLajin families and that of the greater will above us all.
Paidalajin (PL) self-healing in its simplicity and wordless understanding can only be administered by our own actions, the actions of slapping and stretching. To this present day and a time period of more than 14 months practicing (PL) in prison, all of us in our prison workshop still experience significant (HC) indicators of pain, sha, swelling and itchiness, for me this detox mainly is more sensitive on my hands and feet. One of my very first experiences was bleeding on my hands, stained by a thick white powder, severe swelling and heavy “sha”, this also happened to my feet. As (HC) started to diminish the varicose veins on my hands and feet were gone. Another healing was my mouth cancer, this was most unexpected. In prison help is hard to come by and is very limited, almost non-existent for a disease such as mouth cancer. So Hongchi advised me to try (Paida) slapping. I started with very light slapping; the pain was severe, intolerable and went all the way into my heart. I continued to slap my mouth and whole head at intervals of 10-15 minutes. My lips started to sting and swell. My lower lip cracked open and started to bleed in 2 different places, my lips turned deep purple. The strongest sensation was a deep throbbing and pinching pain, it would wake me in my sleep. The feeling was as if someone was trying to dig the cancer out with a sharp knife. I could feel my cancer all over the inside of my mouth with my tongue. It felt like hard strings or tendons on the inside of my cheeks and lower lip. This is the awareness of (HC). Even though most of the sensations and tangible signs have diminished my mouth no longer cracks and bleeds after slapping. I still feel slight throbbing after slapping but the pinching pain at night is gone. I can confidently say my mouth cancer has improved by 80 percent. The best thing is I do not have to have an operation to cut the cancer from my mouth.
Vomiting is a significant symptom of (HC). It happened to me on three different occasions, the most obvious was after slapping my mouth and both sides of my neck and my belief is due to my mouth cancer because it happened so unexpectedly. My mouth and throat would always be dry and no matter how much water or tea I would drink it could not quench my thirst. Since vomiting on three occasions, yellow sticky mucus, I felt an instant relief in my throat and chest. The next morning, I blew a thick brown paste from my nose filled with thick blood. After a few minutes my nose started to ooze out clear liquid for several hours and stopped. I think all these (HC) symptoms are deep rooted and related to my cancer and other unknown diseases but now the feeling of dry mouth and throat are gone and I no longer wheeze when I breathe or snore in my sleep. This is how (HC) diminishes and prevents diseases. This is detox of deep-rooted sicknesses and diseases.
Exercising (PL) self-healing and experiencing (HC) is like an awakening for me. To explain it to you is so notoriously hard in words which bring me to a realization that really all healing experiences like this type of phenomenon are hard to describe. It can only be explained if the person I am talking with is familiar with the same experience. So I must rely you’re your experience of (PL) self-healing is similar for you as it is for me. Only then can the truth be shared between us.
This prison journey has been rather exceptional; I have Hongchi who has shared his wisdom and existentialism of (PL) self-healing with me. His wisdom has given me a conditioning of the mind which brings me to the importance of meditation as a key component of (PL) self-healing.
Meditation is the path to healing the heart. Meditation is the actionless and thoughtless process of (PL) self-healing and (HC) is the awareness and understanding of inner change physically, emotionally and spiritually. Meditation gives me inner strength and conditioning when I am slapping myself or somebody else. Meditation gives me a deeper understanding of (HC).
Healing Crisis is not all pain and suffering, it also consists of joy, gratitude, forgiveness and feeling of compassion but for me it consists mainly of awareness of self, my authentic self. It is the feeling of joy watching myself change inside and outside. Healing Crisis (HC) activates the bodies healing wisdom by us experiencing, verifying and proving the results of our healing. This is the truth of (HC) for me; it is like walking the path of the healing heart. What I have noticed in myself is the more I exercise (PL) self-healing, the more (HC) diminishes and the more my energy level increases, I am able to withstand longer periods of slapping and my tolerance to pain has greatly increased. Furthermore my eyesight has improved, I no longer wear my prescription glasses regularly and I have minimal heart pain. These are only some of the joys of my recovery of better health practicing (PL) self-healing.
The biggest gratitude I give to (PL) self-healing is for stopping the use of all my prescribed medications and supplements. I am prescribed medication for high blood pressure, elevated sugar glucose levels, arthritis pain and inflammation. I took supplements for my joints, mainly my knees and ankles and use creams for swelling. I use creams for my eczema. My skin used to be very dry and flaky like dandruff, with red rashes on my arms and legs which is painful and itchy for days. No one asked me to stop medications but I made the decision myself after I started doing (PL) self-healing.
As (PL) self-healing and (HC) go hand in hand all these mentioned symptoms and sensations are all gone, my blood pressure and glucose level are normalized and my skin condition has disappeared as if by some sort of miracle. For me this is detox, healing and preventing diseases and the power of (PL) self-healing and how I recognize (HC).
Sometimes I wonder what is the difference between disease and (HC). I have come to the realization it is the same thing but appears in different ways. My analogy of disease is, it is like a hidden bomb waiting to explode and then it explodes the damage is irreparable. If it is a small explosion the damage is small. It could be something like a stroke, heart attack or some sort of cancer we can survive for a better period of time but if a bigger bomb explodes like a nuclear bomb. There is no recovery, no repair of damage that is if you are dead. As we say in prison “You are fucked”. My analogy is direct or even a little bit crude but it is true. The effects of (HC) have made me aware as a sick person. I surely have more (HC) than a healthier person which also reveals if I have no (HC) there would be no disease or sickness and all (HC) is always related to some sort of blockage in the body.
This is my blessing and gift from the Holy One to be able to share these last 14 months with Hongchi Xiao exercising (PL) self-healing. PaidaLajin (PL) is not only healing me physically. It has given me a greater understanding of mental, emotional and spiritual awareness. I now know that all my diseases and sicknesses are derived from self-afflicted mental and emotional stress and false beliefs. Fear, Anger, Depression, Worries, self-neglect are only a few I dare to name. So my heart became my focus, all my heart felt negative emotions are the cause of all my physical and mental diseases.
PaidaLajin (PL) self-healing has transformed me emotionally with a feeling of unconditional
Love for myself. Healing Crisis (HC) is a personal inner change. A wonderful feeling in the heart that follows me as a constant companion of calm and humility. It is about shrinking the suffering thoughts, emotions, anxieties and fears which upset my sense of harmony that prevents my healthier state of self-improvement.
As a person changing my relationship with myself in this world is the key which also helps to side step the everyday dangers of prison life. I am suffering due to life pressures in my incarceration; this imprisonment is keeping me away from my family.
In finding Hongchi and exercising (PL) self-healing through the effects and awareness of (HC) my physical and mental toxins are being cleansed in a natural and non-medicated way. I will continue my self-healing after my release from prison and look forward to more favorable circumstances but for now I will continue with my deeper understanding of (PL) self-healing and the significance of (HC).
Healing Crisis is about protecting the body. You must become aware (PL) provides healing. PaidaLajin (PL) healing is from the “heart”. Awareness of understanding what we have to understand and experiencing what we have to experience.
The path of the healing heart is love and love always provides healing and feeling of love is the presence of the “Holy One” or “Dao”.
Be grateful whenever the presence the Holy One is demonstrated through self-healing and the power of (PL). Stay with the heart, the “life energy” of Dao.
To heal this world, this planet – every individual’s journey is an integral part of the life journey of all beings. The journey of our planet and the whole universe, each person has the sacred responsibility to engage in healing themselves and healing the world.
This points to a deeper understanding why healing ourselves, healing the world means healing our relationship with the world. It is our relationship that needs to be repaired; our relationship with our physical, emotional and spiritual self and experience tells us that healing relationships call for inner change. Now this inner change is the sacred responsibility that becomes apparent which is the healing of our individual self. In other words the healing of our relationship with our body and authentic self.
Healing, the world depends upon healing and transformation of each person. Through (PL) self-healing as you become aware of your physical self, you will realize that each person is sacred and the planet and the whole world. Our awareness becomes that we are healing our relationship with these aspects of creation. Though we are the embodiment of the Creator we may find it hard to accept that we have everything we need within us for self-healing. Our bodies are all aspects of the Holy One/Dao and the Holy One is expressing life through us.
A flower is the Holy One being a flower. An ant is the Holy One being an ant. A human being is the Holy One being a human being. Awareness is so hard to put into words.
Walking the path of the heart with (PL) self-healing. It takes discipline, strength and courage to accept (PL) self-healing. It is accepting the truth of who we are and knowing the presence of the Holy One. We find it easier to avoid looking closely at ourselves because we have unconsciously accepted the images and stereotypes created by our families, society, religion and culture.
A self-healer is someone who walks the path of the heart. Understanding, experiencing and accepting his or her true nature. Knowing the dark and light live together in the heart!
The path of the heart takes us deep into awareness of self-healing, deep into life, our own life, the life of others, the life of the earth and finding the love of the Holy One living inside.
Healing our soul is the bridge over the chasm and finding our authentic self. This is the hidden secret in all of us. So let me conclude with something I would like you to contemplate a riddle for all of you (PL) practitioners, followers and foes of (PL) self-healing. What cannot be seen? What cannot be heard? What cannot be touched? What cannot be thought?
Pain and suffering will appear and diminish as (HC) in your meditation and awareness.
What is it that cannot be seen but which makes seeing possible?
What is it that cannot be heard but which makes hearing possible?
What is it that cannot be known but which makes knowledge possible?
What is it that cannot be thought but which makes thinking possible?
As an existentialist (HC) is a deep awakening, a deep knowing of our deep authentic self. This is awareness, a consciousness you cannot see, hear or touch, and it is extremely mysterious. You can experience it, feel it, you know it is in you – this is awareness.
Only awareness experiences seeing but has no colour or shape.
Only awareness experiences hearing but makes no sound.
Only awareness experiences touching but has no tangible form.
Only awareness experiences thinking but is not a thought.
Healing Crisis is awareness of how (PL) self-healing transforms us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This is Hongchi Xiao’s (PL) self-healing and my experience and understanding.
Srebre Ordan Todoroski
Min 444860
27/12/2018